Now That I Can't Have You I Want You Even More
by Luthien Iliona Calafalas
Summary: PG13 for future chapters. Lucas and a girl from another school are dating. Haley and Nathan are together. What is Peyton supposed to do? Based on the Poem I wrote of the same title.
1. No One To Run To

Now That I Can't Have You I Want You Even More  
  
*Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill, or the characters, sadly, and anything else in this story that I don't own, yea, I don't own it either.  
  
*Rating: PG-13 for future chapters. Subject to change.  
  
*Authors Note: Not my first fan-fic but my first OTH fic. R&R if you get the chance, I don't mind criticism so flame me or whatever, I don't give a spit.  
  
Chapter 1: No One To Run To  
  
Peyton drummed her fingers on her desk and stared at her latest drawing. It was a picture of a girl, representing her, staring at a guy, representing Lucas, without him noticing. The caption read, "Now that I can't have you I want you even more." She wished she had taken that chance and went for Lucas' heart when she could have. Now he was dating some slut from another school and she would never have him.  
Only one good thing had come out of this. At least now Brooke wasn't throwing herself at him, as much anyway, and that gave Peyton a better opportunity. But no matter how much she liked Lucas she didn't have the guts, or the heart, to tear him away from his girlfriend.  
*Do I just like him? Or... Is this love? Is love supposed to hurt this much?* She shoved the thought out of her head. Peyton didn't need the added stress of loving an unreachable person. *But this IS love, I do love him.* She had often thought that she loved Nathan but she knew better now. That wasn't love, that was just denial. She had never loved Nathan and she never would, no matter how often he tried to get them back together.  
She felt sorry for Haley. That poor, naive girl didn't know what she was getting into. After Brooke spread those rumors about Nathan and Haley, Peyton didn't think that they would ever get together, but now, that couple was inseperable. It was nice to know that her friend (that's what Haley and Peyton were now, friends) could have what she never did with Nathan.  
Peyton stole a glance at Lucas. She loved the way his hair was always slightly messed up but his shirts were always perfectly wrinkle-free. It was the little things like that which had caught her eye. The cute little imperfections and the tedious perfections. She couldn't wait until cheerleading practice. She hated being a cheerleader but she couldn't stand to miss an opportunity to see Lucas in one of his wife-beaters, practicing his sport. Or better yet, no shirt at all. She smiled.  
*****  
Brooke sniffed loudly. Peyton was obviously staring at Lucas and she couldn't stand it. Sure, Peyton was her friend, but Lucas WOULD be her man if not for that Dare. She didn't think that Peyton would really kiss Lucas. She had screwed it all up. Lucas had wanted Peyton. But Peyton chickened out and he went for another girl.  
*He WILL be mine. I don't care what I have to do. If I had been given the chance that Peyton got, then I'd be all over Lucas. It's just like her to flake out.* Brooke smirked in disgust. She turned her attention from Peyton to Haley. *And who the hell does she think she is? Taking Nathan? If I can get Peyton and Nathan back together, I can have Lucas.* It was obvious. Even if Lucas had a girlfriend, he wanted Peyton.  
*****  
Lucas felt the seductive eyes of both Brooke and Peyton on his back. And Haley's cold glare. He wished they weren't fighting. Haley had always been his best friend and now his stupid "brother" was tearing them apart. He had to figure out a way to apologize to Haley. But not just yet.  
All Lucas had ever wanted was Peyton. He could care less about basketball. He loved the sport but hated the team. The only reason he was even on the team was to see Peyton while she was practicing her cheerleading. He didn't even understand why she was a cheerleader. She was an unsolved mystery to ponder on a rainy day. But in trying to get Peyton, he had gotten Brooke too. The best friend. How he hated her. Sure, Brooke was why he had been able to steal those few kisses from Peyton, but Brooke was the one that was always trying to tear him and Peyton apart. Another girl he despised? His girlfriend. Yea, she was a great girl and all but she was a roadblock on the road to Peyton. He didn't even know why he had asked her out. Most likely in denial. He loved Peyton, but loving Peyton was like loving a queen. You can have your fun worshiping from afar, but when it comes to being in a relationship with her its practically impossible. Of course, it wasn't Peyton's fault they weren't together. Or was it?  
*Peyton was the one who said she didn't want a relationship with me but I know she does. I can feel it. Why can't she see that I love her?* The bell rang and Lucas packed up his books to go.  
*****  
Peyton threw her books in her car and drove home in silence. She walked into her house and yanked open the door to her room. She slammed back shut and threw herself on her bed. *I have no one. No best friend. No boyfriend. No on to dry the tears that I've cried. No one to run to.*  
***** Hoped you liked the first chapter. I should be updating soon. Remember to review. 


	2. Deceit

Now That I Can't Have You I Want You Even More  
  
*Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill.  
  
*Rating: PG-13 for future chapters. Subject to change.  
  
*Author's Note: Sorry for any screw-ups. If you find anything major, post it in a review. Thanks for reading. Also, thanks to everyone who has reviewed!  
  
Chapter 2: Deceit  
  
Two weeks later, Lucas watched his mom leave for that culinary school. He walked back into the house and lay down on the couch. *Perhaps I should call her. I mean she IS my girlfriend, and it isn't her fault I can't stand to look at her rather than Peyton.* He laughed to himself. *At least she doesn't hate me after telling everyone that she goes to another school. But don't I want her to hate me?* After some of her friends had told her that he had said she went to another school, she had been furious. Lucas was sure that they would break up, and he was happy about it. And, like he guessed, they HAD broken up, but they had gotten back together. He couldn't remember why, or how, it had happened. It just did. And over the following days, the broke up, and got back together, and broke up, and got back together, in an endless cycle. He was sure they had broken up 10 times by the end of the week. And, somehow, they had always gotten back together. Now, he found himself giving her a bracelet between science and Spanish, or stealing a quick kiss from her before they parted after school. *But why? I don't even like her?* Regardless, he picked up the phone and dialed her number.  
  
*****  
  
Peyton lay on her bed, listening to her favorite cd from Evanescence. Actually, it was playing but her thoughts were elsewhere. *Lucas is a fool.* Once Peyton had learned that his girlfriend was Erin, not a girl from another school, she had been heartbroken. Not only was Erin her friend, and she had neglected to tell her that she had a boyfriend, but also, one of Peyton's friends once told her, long-distance relationships don't work. And now, all of her careful planning was ruined. Every time they broke up, she was overjoyed, but then they always got back together, leaving her alone and heartbroken again.  
Erin had told her countless times that Lucas liked her, she told Brooke the same thing, but each time, Peyton denied it. *Why can't I just admit it? If I did, maybe it would break those two up. Erin said she liked someone else anyway.* Peyton had realized long ago that she was a chicken, and that if she continued to be one, she would never get Lucas.  
*Even after all this deceit, I know I love Lucas. But after everything, is he really worth it?*  
  
*****  
  
A/N: Sorry that it is so short but I am having a block on this story. Thanks for reading. 


	3. The Library

Now That I Can't Have You I Want You Even More  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or anything else in this story that is affiliated with. There are other things that I do not own in this story, however, the writing is my own. I use a lot of song phrases that I do not own. Also, I have a few of my own characters in this story that I do own.  
  
Rating: PG13, Subject to change.  
  
AN: Thanks to all reviewers, please keep reviewing, it helps me update faster! :)  
  
Chapter 3: The Library  
  
Peyton walked into school with her usual attitude, the whole my-life- sucks-big-time-because-I-can't-have-the-guy-I-want-and-both-my-parents-are- gone-and-most-of-my-friends-are-liars drama, wearing a black logo hoodie, red and blue plaid skirt, fishnets and knee-high boots. She was listening to her beloved Maroon 5 CD and trying to figure out when she would have time to stop by the library and pick up that Ray Bradbury book that Lucas suggested, Something Wicked This Way Comes, or something.  
Her head was down while she was trying to schedule library time on her PDA, so she didn't notice her Chemistry partner, Rachel, coming towards her. Rachel tiptoed around her and tapped her on her shoulder. Peyton jumped and her PDA flew across the room.  
"Rachel! Why did you do that!" Peyton asked, suprised. She stuffed her CD player into her black messenger bag and bent down to reach for her PDA. Rachel bent to pick it up to, but they were both beat to it by Jake Jagelski (sp?). They all stood up.  
"Here, Peyton. Thanks for watching Jenny yesterday. I'll see you at practice," Jake said as he walked away. Peyton smiled and put her PDA in her bag. She handed her a copy of the Chemistry homework that she had volunteered to do, no use in both of them having to do it.  
"So, what's up, Rach?" Peyton asked as she handed her the assignment. Rachel was staring off down the hall towards the gym, where Jake just ducked in.  
"Hello! Are you oblivious to anyone but Lucas? That hottie was just totally flirting with you. If I were you, I'd forget about Lucas and go after that guy. He looked REAL good! What's wrong with your skull?" Rachel finished off her rant.  
"You mean Jake? He's just another basketball player. I babysit his daughter sometimes. Jenny. She's a sweetheart," Peyton replied, distracted. Lucas was walking down the hall towards her.  
"Peyton. It's obvious. Jake. likes. you." She explained as if talking to a stupid little kid. Peyton shrugged and began to walk away. Away from Rachel. Away from Lucas. It was all too much. Rachel rushed to catch up and continued on her rant. "Let me get this straight. I like Jake. Jake likes you. You and Brooke both like Lucas. Lucas likes Erin. And you're too caught up in Lucas to realize that you could have any guy in the school. What the he-"  
Peyton cut her off. "I'm off to the Library. See you in Chem class."  
  
*****  
  
Lucas cussed to himself. *Why is Peyton avoiding me?* He followed her to the library. He hid behind a shelf while watching her search the computer's database for a book. *Something Wicked Comes This Way? One copy left? Perfect!* He sneaked off to the fiction section and took the last copy. He hid on the other side of the shelf and waited for her to come.  
Lucas her the soft shuffle of her boots on the carpet. He ducked down.  
"Where is it? There's supposed to be one more copy!" She whispered to herself. Luke crept around the corner.  
"I heard your looking for this?" He held up the book and flipped through the pages. "Great book." She reached for it. "Nope. Not until you tell me why you're avoiding me?"  
"I'm not avoiding you," she jumped for the book and grabbed it. "Thanks." Lucas watched her go to the counter and check it out. Then, he noticed Jake. They were in deep conversation. He felt a pang of jealousy. 


End file.
